Family Holidays
Family gatherings are very hard because you get used hearing the same sounds, smelling the same smells, cooking the same food, enjoying the company of the same people, except when there is a change such as a new girlfriend or boyfriend, new wife or husband, or maybe a new baby. Things are pretty much the same but… different. And you still look forward to holidays spent together, even if you see each other everyday all day long – holidays are still so special.
But when there is a change in routine, someone isn’t coming this year or someone in the family is REALLY SICK and can’t make the trip this year, or the worst ever, someone isn’t comin’ at all anymore. Not because they don’t what to but because they can’t make this trip or any trip anymore. Their spirit and the memory of their presence will last for always but their physical presence is no longer for us to enjoy during the holidays anymore. God’s got ‘em!
But doesn’t matter much because all that you can see is that this year and every year after that there is, well, an emptiness at the family table for dinner, a missin’ person, someone who used to make the potato salad will no longer being coming home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. The laugh that ignited the family reunion barbeques will not be there anymore. The young children who can’t really grasp the concept of death are asking, “Is Auntie comin’ this year?” You sigh and respond, “No, baby she can’t make it this year.” They eagerly ask you, “Oh, well, what about Uncle… and Cousin… are they comin’ this year.” Again all you can go is sign and respond, “No, they won’t be here either.”
No matter who can’t make it, the holiday festivities MUST go on so… Here we go another holiday without her potato salad or your funny uncle who would make all the children laugh with his jokes and pranks or your cousin with all his stories about all the places he’s been and lived in his lifetime. No matter who can’t make the trip because of sickness or death… the holiday must go on and new memories MUST be created. New memories, not to replace the ol’ ones, but new memories to add to the ol’ ones, helping to create your family’s history.
Yeah… New Memories, to replace the tears that were shed because the sorrow and pain caused by the change or rather the adjustment that had to be made in order to enjoy the holidays with the family that you do have, the serenity that can be obtained by living life with your family and enjoying everyday until it’s your turn…
One less gift to buy, one less plate to fix, one less phone call to make, one less Holiday Card to send, one less… There is it again, the pain of change.
Family Holidays are something special – always meant to be something special. A time to cherish those that are still here for you to enjoy, a time to love those who still are in need of your love, a time to eat and be PHAT and happy with your family, a time to live, laugh and love, because the time to comes when the vacation will end and the holidays will be over until the next year when you get to gather together again with your family and relive ol’ memories, create new memories, and be PHAT and happy all over again.
Family gatherings are hard because sometimes they aren’t all that you envisioned them to be. Sometimes things don’t always go the way you want them to go. Sometimes things change, people change. Life goes on… This means that there won’t always be the same sounds, the same smells, and the same people bringing the same dishes. Family gatherings are hard because sometimes dealing the change is hard. You don’t want to adjust to the personality of the new wife or the new husband, or get to know the new girlfriend or the new boyfriend, or how about the new baby that won’t stop crying. And now that she’s not bringing your favorite potato salad who will? Does it even matter who brings it because it’s not hers and that means you ain’t gonna eat it no way! You have to create new memories to hold the special moments of the holiday festivities until they are ready to be recalled upon during the next holiday dinner. It’s your job to be the one who says, “I remember when…” And then everybody else will respond like, “Oh yeah, I remember that…” These are the moments that make being together as a family all the worth while, worth the tears you shed over the lost, worth the yellin’ in the car over which way to turn on Main Street, worth it all because now you are with family and that truly is a blessing, to have family, food, and God all in one setting, well… could you be anymore happy than this.
At the table when it’s time to bless the food and say what you are thankful for we all can say that we are thankful for a serene mind, a loving family, and a PHAT belly. Cause even though, you will never get to taste her potato salad again, you still have Momma’s rice, Daddy’s punch, Auntie’s macaroni and cheese and Goddie’s cakes and pies. There is still the video from last year’s dinner and pictures from the year before that, so all is not lost. The love is definitely still there and if you sit still and rest ya' nerves for a moment you feel the sweet spiritual presence of those who you thought were lost to death. Yeah, they are still there, tickling your nose, calming the baby down because obviously you don’t know how to get her to stop crying… Angels! Making your mind wonder at every brief and blank moment that you have at the table to think about what it would be like if they were still there, physically, for you to hug, kiss, talk to and eat with. Just one less person who you can get PHAT and happy with…
Family holidays are special because no matter what, you still have each other!
(12/04/07)
But when there is a change in routine, someone isn’t coming this year or someone in the family is REALLY SICK and can’t make the trip this year, or the worst ever, someone isn’t comin’ at all anymore. Not because they don’t what to but because they can’t make this trip or any trip anymore. Their spirit and the memory of their presence will last for always but their physical presence is no longer for us to enjoy during the holidays anymore. God’s got ‘em!
But doesn’t matter much because all that you can see is that this year and every year after that there is, well, an emptiness at the family table for dinner, a missin’ person, someone who used to make the potato salad will no longer being coming home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. The laugh that ignited the family reunion barbeques will not be there anymore. The young children who can’t really grasp the concept of death are asking, “Is Auntie comin’ this year?” You sigh and respond, “No, baby she can’t make it this year.” They eagerly ask you, “Oh, well, what about Uncle… and Cousin… are they comin’ this year.” Again all you can go is sign and respond, “No, they won’t be here either.”
No matter who can’t make it, the holiday festivities MUST go on so… Here we go another holiday without her potato salad or your funny uncle who would make all the children laugh with his jokes and pranks or your cousin with all his stories about all the places he’s been and lived in his lifetime. No matter who can’t make the trip because of sickness or death… the holiday must go on and new memories MUST be created. New memories, not to replace the ol’ ones, but new memories to add to the ol’ ones, helping to create your family’s history.
Yeah… New Memories, to replace the tears that were shed because the sorrow and pain caused by the change or rather the adjustment that had to be made in order to enjoy the holidays with the family that you do have, the serenity that can be obtained by living life with your family and enjoying everyday until it’s your turn…
One less gift to buy, one less plate to fix, one less phone call to make, one less Holiday Card to send, one less… There is it again, the pain of change.
Family Holidays are something special – always meant to be something special. A time to cherish those that are still here for you to enjoy, a time to love those who still are in need of your love, a time to eat and be PHAT and happy with your family, a time to live, laugh and love, because the time to comes when the vacation will end and the holidays will be over until the next year when you get to gather together again with your family and relive ol’ memories, create new memories, and be PHAT and happy all over again.
Family gatherings are hard because sometimes they aren’t all that you envisioned them to be. Sometimes things don’t always go the way you want them to go. Sometimes things change, people change. Life goes on… This means that there won’t always be the same sounds, the same smells, and the same people bringing the same dishes. Family gatherings are hard because sometimes dealing the change is hard. You don’t want to adjust to the personality of the new wife or the new husband, or get to know the new girlfriend or the new boyfriend, or how about the new baby that won’t stop crying. And now that she’s not bringing your favorite potato salad who will? Does it even matter who brings it because it’s not hers and that means you ain’t gonna eat it no way! You have to create new memories to hold the special moments of the holiday festivities until they are ready to be recalled upon during the next holiday dinner. It’s your job to be the one who says, “I remember when…” And then everybody else will respond like, “Oh yeah, I remember that…” These are the moments that make being together as a family all the worth while, worth the tears you shed over the lost, worth the yellin’ in the car over which way to turn on Main Street, worth it all because now you are with family and that truly is a blessing, to have family, food, and God all in one setting, well… could you be anymore happy than this.
At the table when it’s time to bless the food and say what you are thankful for we all can say that we are thankful for a serene mind, a loving family, and a PHAT belly. Cause even though, you will never get to taste her potato salad again, you still have Momma’s rice, Daddy’s punch, Auntie’s macaroni and cheese and Goddie’s cakes and pies. There is still the video from last year’s dinner and pictures from the year before that, so all is not lost. The love is definitely still there and if you sit still and rest ya' nerves for a moment you feel the sweet spiritual presence of those who you thought were lost to death. Yeah, they are still there, tickling your nose, calming the baby down because obviously you don’t know how to get her to stop crying… Angels! Making your mind wonder at every brief and blank moment that you have at the table to think about what it would be like if they were still there, physically, for you to hug, kiss, talk to and eat with. Just one less person who you can get PHAT and happy with…
Family holidays are special because no matter what, you still have each other!
(12/04/07)
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